wow. i can’t believe it’s almost been a month since my last post… i don’t know the last time i let my blog go this long…. some of my a muse addicts have informed me that even though i have been crazy busy.. i should take up iphlogging more 😉 ( i’ll try and remember that girls…)
hmm.. where to start….
well my trip down to the queens ink went well and the classes were great 😉 patti and her staff really do make you feel like a queen 😉
while i was in MD i got a phone call that i never expected… it was one of my mothers sisters letting me know my mom had passed away. she was 48.
since i was in the midst of teaching, out of state etc… i had a flurry of emotions… i havent spoken to my mom in over 4 years, and even at that point it was pretty brief… i really havent had contact with her for over 15 years.
my mom had made some poor decisions and at a young age i needed to be strong and do what was right for me, as simple as that…..
i came home from MD and headed up to NH to go through her things… every wall in her apt was covered with framed pictures of me growing up… mixed emotions i was still feeling…. i came home to the island with a box of photos filled with memories.. some i had forgotten, some i remembered and was thankful to have pics to see…. and some i will enjoy getting the story behind one day with my dad.
i am sad that i have lost the mother i knew as a young girl….. but part of me reminds myself i lost her a long time ago
i am sad that she was never able to fix things….
i am angry that she was never able to fix things….
i know i will struggle with these mixed emotions for a long time… but i know it all just makes me stronger….
and then i have 2morrow…. october 16th.
it’s the anniversary of watcher’s death…. last year i spent his last day with him.. holding him… comforting him.. and in true watcher style… he held on as long as he could.
going through my mothers things i found a watcher "baby" photo… i was there when he was born.. and was able to take him home early in life.. so he was super tiny…. sooo cute. i will cherish this photo. i was 8 years old when he became my 4 legged best friend… and the many things i went through in his 20 years of life…. he was always there…. i’ll never forget the night i got the call that my grandmother had passed away… i was sobbing.. and immediately he was at my side.
watcher was and is such a special part of me, one i will never forget and will always cherish….
i think 2morrow i will tell harley all about " watcher the wonder kitty"
(i promise to be back up and running with this blog… with more uplifting and creative posts… SOON!)