after a few minutes i realized something was wrong, he was very unresponsive.. and just kinda out of it….
i called and left a msg for the in home vet, and headed to work….
erin came into work, and i explained i wasnt sure how long i would last….
joan, the vet called me and after explaining what was going on… she asked me if i felt it was time for him to go, and i agreed…. he has given up… she said she would rearrange her schedule and be at my place at 8a (today)
i decided to go home and spend the day with watcher……
he had i cuddled and sat together all day…. he was very weak, unable to stand and barely hold his head up…..
i even sat on the front step with him so he could feel the sunshine…..
i constantly told him how much he meant to me… how he was the best kitty in the whole world, and so handsome…… i also told him that it was ok to go, that he had such a good long life…. that he overcame so many things…. that i was blessed to have him, especially this past year and half…..
around 7 i called my dad to tell him what was going on…he was sad to hear, and explained how he has always dreaded this call…. i explained to him that i wish he would pass on his own, so i wouldnt have to make the decision to put him down…..
around 8 my friend lee came over, cause i was sick of being all alone all day and crying…..
around 8:30-9 watcher started coughing a bit…..
and then he was gone….
it was hard to tell at first, so i called CARE to ask for signs….
and then i knew he had passed…….
i think he knew thats how i wanted him to go….
i feel so lucky that i was able to be home with him, that i wasnt traveling….
i brought him to the vets this am to be cremated… this is something i have to do… i dont have a special place to bury him, with my dad and i moving all the time…..
even though i have been trying to prepare myself.. one is never prepared…..
even though i know he was on his 10th life….. its still hard that hes no longer here
i know hes in a better place, i know he knows i loved him……
watcher shurkus august 1987- october 16 2007
i will always remember the day he was born
i will always remember naming him right off the bat… he was the first kitten to sit up and look around….
i will always remember begging my mother to let me take him home
i will always remember paying for all his vet bills with my 5th grade allowance
i will always remember walking around the woods with him tucked in my coat….
i will always remember my step brother rough housing with him, his arms filled with scratches
i will always remember the night our parakeet got out and watcher killed him, he was such a hunter…
i will always remember taking him camping with us on a harness and leash
i will always remember the time he ran away for 2 weeks…. coming home all skin and bones
i will always remember when life started to get complicated… he would always go where ever i was and adjust….
i will always remember the attitude he gave everyone… not very lovey…. except with me
i will always remember the looks i got when i was packing for school each semester
i will always remember how happy he was when i came home….
i will always remember the first time he got fleas…. all his years out doors he never did… until we moved into an apt complex
i will always remember when his mood started to mellow… and change….
i will always remember how in awe i was that he let friendly kitty come around with out a fight
i will always remember him coming down to my craft room asking me to goto bed with him, since it was getting late
i will always remember how good he was when i had to give him insulin, most of the time
i will always remember how scary it was when i learned he had cancer on his tongue…. but he is a fighter
i will always remember his voice, his meows… how he would talk back to me….
i will always remember him begging to go outside in the rain not knowing cats dont like to get wet
i will always remember he was my lil sunshine kitty hating winter as much as me
i will always remember a year and half ago, when matt spoke up and we took him home, instead of putting him down…. he had a good year and a half
i will always remember him being there for me…. knowing when i was sad, sensing when i was upset….
i will always remember how he was there for me at the start of the summer… moving with me, helping me feel not so alone….
20 years…. i will always remember….
thanks for letting me get some of that out…. i prolly wont be blogging for a few days….